Character shaping moment - Ethical Dilemma

Yesterday I was reading an article in the March 2007 issue of the Harvard Business Review which reminded me of a key lesson or defining moment in my youth. The article was about Ethics. It discusses the changing landscape of business and ethics and the public’s perception as to whether or not business leaders are trustworthy. It goes on to discuss the development of the “ethical mind”. His work is outlined further at (I have to get another link - the one in the article was not accurate). One of the key points made in the article is that the ethical mind begins at home. This is where children see the examples of fair play, honestly, etc. But this is just where the foundation is laid. As they grow older their peers begin to set examples or place pressures that can either support to tear down the foundation that was set at home. At this point in the article there is a reference to a recent Duke University study that found that 56% of students in US master’s degree programs admit to cheating. The article discusses the point of view that the current level of competitiveness has resulted in these sorts of pressures and these students feel in order to compete with someone who is cheating, they must cheap, thus making it an acceptable practice. The authors point is that this phenomenon is recent. Because of the defining moment for me, that I referred to above I suggest that this isn’t a recent phenomenon.

When I was a senior in high school I was a very good student. In the spring semester of my last year I was tied for the advanced math award with a guy named Gaines Webster. Our home room teach was also our math teacher. We had just taken a test and were hoping to get our scores that morning in home room. Ms. Leathers had not graded the tests but she handing us both the answer key and told us we could check to see how we had done. She trusted us. She left the room for some other purpose and left us to review how we had done. I watched as Gaines matched his paper to the test and noticed him erasing and correcting. He was cheating. I knew he would win the award if he made a higher grade on this test. When it was my turn to review my test, I did the same thing – just as the Duke study found – I cheated because I did not want to be beaten by someone else who had cheated. We both put our tests back in the pile and went on about our day.

All day long this awful feeling was building in the pit of my stomach. When I got home after school I went to my mother and I told her what I had done. I don’t remember much about what I said to her or how I felt before I told her. I wasn’t sure what she would say. She looked at me and said, “What are you going to do about it?” I wasn’t expecting that but I said I guessed I would go to the teacher’s house and tell her what I had done. This was a rather frightening prospect given the history and facts surrounding this particular teacher. She had taught both my mother and my father in high school and was the wife of the Superintendent of Schools. I was physically sick at the prospect. I assumed that I would be given an F on the test and stripped of my National Honor Society and French Honor Society membership. I wondered if other penalties might be applied. I wanted to throw up.

I drove down to her home after dinner and knocked on the door. Mr. Leathers, the Superintendent, answered the door and invited me in. He said that she had run out for a few minutes but would be back shortly. He asked me to sit down and I tried to make small talk with him for about 20 minutes while I waited for her to return. When she finally arrived and walked through the door I burst in to tears and spilled out my awful story, except that I left out an reference to Gaines. She went over to her test papers and pulled mine out. She said, “Change your answers back. What you did by coming here has taught you more than any punishment I might give you and it has shown and tremendous amount of courage and character.” I thanked her and changed my answers back. She asked me if anyone else was involved, I think she suspected after so many years in teaching that I would not have done this without something/someone else pushing me in that direction. I told her that there wasn’t. Over the years I have struggled with not telling her the whole truth. I felt that Gaines would have to live with himself and suffer his own consequences but that wasn’t up to me. He ended up winning the advanced math award that year but I knew that he did not deserve it.

This was really a defining moment in the shaping of my character and “ethical mind”. My mother and father had set great examples over the years for me but when the moment of reckoning came, my mother did not tell me what to do. She trusted me to do the right thing and allowed me to chose what I was going to do. She knew that they had taught me well and I would make the right choice.

Mrs. Leathers attended my mother’s funeral last year and a few months later she passed away herself. I wish that I could have gone back home to her funeral.

What is one of your defining moments?