Election 2008 - the new generation

This election is the first election in which my daughter is eligble to vote. I have to say how impressed I am with her and her generation. This past week she sat for three hours and watched the debates for both parties while answering survey questions on facebook. I have to say how impressed I am with her and her friends for listening and being informed about the candidates.

I remember my first election - it was 1980 and Ronald Reagan was my candidate. Honestly, I didn't listen to a single debate and I can't recall reading much about details of anybody's positions on anything. I just remember that I was not for any entitlement programs and I got in argument with my roomate about social security and whether or not people who didn't need the money should get benefits. I thought no - I still think no. I would be perfectly fine giving up my social security benefits. I would want a reduction in my payroll taxes - not all of them but maybe half which I would use to fund my own retirement. I think those benefits should only go to people who are really in need.

Anyway, I think there is a lot of promise in this generation of young people that many people underestimate. They are bright and informed and they will make things happen. I am so impressed with my daughter. She's really something.

Coming Home

Yesterday I came home to my Dad's house for the first time without him here. It was hard. A dear old friend of mine who has been through the same experience came with me so that I wouldn't have to be alone. She and another friend of ours were with me. They have both lost both of their parents so we are are the "Dead Parents Society". Rather grim.
Its hard to describe the sense of loss that you feel when you first enter your parents home and neither of them are their to greet you. I think a lot of people don't want to stay in the house alone after both parents have died there but not me. There is some sense of comfort in being here. Like some of their energy is still here comforting me making me feel like I will be able to go on.
I am still having trouble shedding the tears that I know are bottled up inside. I keep holding it back for fear that if I start I won't be able to stop. I have cried some today but each time I start I catch myself and hold back. I don't know why I do this. Sadness is a natural emotion and its important to be able to cry and feel the emotion.
I listened to some music that helped a little. There is an Allison Krauss song "Simple Love" that in many ways reminds me of my Dad and how he loved my mother and that helps me let go a little bit. But I just can't seem to let it go.
I really would like to just sit in the floor and sob but I just don't know how to let it out.
More to come tomorrow.