Why Does the Cycle Keep Repeating?

Throughout my life my mother and I could never spend more than a day or two together without getting on each others nerves and starting to snap at each other. I always felt like my mother was telling me what to do and I didn't like and frankly I was mean to her in response. All she wanted to do was know more about my life and I withheld information out of spite. Our relationship would get better from time to time but anytime we were together for very long we would be at each others throats so to speak. I loved her so much but never really showed her all that well that I did. I would never give her a hug when she wanted one. I always wished it were different but I never had the willpower to change it. I think we both had trouble changing the way we talked to each other and reacted to each other. In the end when she was dying and I spent the last two weeks with her this was not the case. I am not really sure why. Perhaps because I knew I was losing her. Perhaps because she was so helpless and I finally realized how much she really needed my love and support. I was glad for those last two weeks.

So why is it that my daughter and I are repeating this same cycle. We can't seem to be together for more than a few hours without being at each others throats. She takes everything I say the wrong way and witholds information in the same way I used to with my mother. She says things that hurt me the way I did with my mother. And I am sure everything I say seems like I am trying to tell her what to do. I wished for something more but maybe we are doomed to have the same relationship. Never getting a hug when with either of us want or need one and always at each others throats. How sad to love someone so much and only cause them grief.

I guess time will tell and we'll keep trying.