Good bye old friend - I think that I shall never see, a poem as lovely as a tree

Today is a very sad day. I don't know if many of you have heard of the pine beetle or not. It has been devastating the pine forests in the mountains of Colorado for several years now. We saw a similar epidemic on the Kenai Peninsula in Alaska several years ago when we were visiting. Over a million acres of forest in the Kenai have been killed by the beetle in Alaska in the last 20 years or so. And now we have watched the lush green forests along I70 and Berthoud Pass here in Colorado deteriorate slowly in to a sea of brown sticks. Each time we drive to the mountains a larger swath of the green is gone. It has been so sad to watch but today it came home to rest in my backyard.

Our house is on three acres that we selected because of the old growth Ponderosa Pines. Before we bought the lot I walked it with a Native America shaman who "talked" to the trees and the landscape. They had been here many years and bore the scars of storms and droughts along their rugged trunks. We had the plans drawn for our house to make sure that we saved every tree on the land. They were a part of the land and we wanted them undisturbed. Alas, the pine beetle has made its way to Parker, Colorado. We've been spraying for the beetles every year since the epidemic started. It can help but isn't fool proof, especially if everyone surrounding you doesn't spray too. The large farm behind us doesn't spray. It would probably be much too expensive with the number of trees they have.

Before we left for Africa, we notice that the top of one of our oldest and largest trees had some dying foliage. We hoped that it was just the dry weather but didn't have time to check before we left. After we returned the neighbor who liveson the other side of the tree stopped by our house one evening. He had his trees guys look at it and it definitely had the beetle - $1,000 to remove it. We called Swingles, our tree service, and they came by. Yes, it was definitely the beetle and something else was attacking it. It had tried hard to defend itself but wasn't going to make it. He said it was the oldest tree in the cluster between our house and the neighbors. It had to come down. At least they were cheaper - $750. I wanted to cry for my beautiful old tree.

They arrived this morning. As I write this they are out there arranging their equipment to take him down piece by piece. This is a tree that is several hundred years old. It has survived so much. Why now?

This has renewed my interest in what is going on with our forests in the mountains. There is a forest conservation group focused on the beetle epidemic www.summitpinebeetle.org. They need your help. The beetle has severely impacted the Arapahoe/Roosevelt, White River, Medicine Bow and Routt National Forests in the West.

It reminds me of a poem I used to love from my childhood. It was in a book of poems illustrated by Joan Walsh Anglund but the poem is by Joyce Kilmer.

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree.
A tree whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the earth's sweet flowing breast;
A tree that looks at God all day,
And lifts her leafy arms to pray;
A tree that may in Summer wear
A nest of robins in her hair;
Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
Who intimately lives with rain.
Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.

With tears in my eyes, the buzz of the chain saw and the crash of my dear felled tree I bit you farewell for the day.

Homecoming - Say Yes to the Dress

Today I went shopping for the first time for a homecoming dress with my 14 year old daughter, Mary Mac. Yes, my baby has a date to a homecoming dance.

What a day! Mary Mac loves to shop. She could spend hours in a mall just trying on clothes. It takes her a long time to make up her mind. I, on the other hand, don't shop for more than an hour at a time, usually buy without trying things on and make up my mind very quickly. So you see that we are a shopping match made in heaven.

Before we left for the mall Mary Mac was describing the vision of the dress she wanted. Something with an empire waist and flowy full skirt. She was scanning websites for something that might fit the bill. We picked up a friend and her Mom and headed to Cherry Creek Mall around 1 o'clock. First stop was Nordstrom. They had rearranged since the last time we were there and it took a few minutes to find the dresses. The first dress she picked with a beautiful purple dress with a strap over one shoulder made of jewels. The strap came down to the center of the back and attached to a piece of chiffon that came to a V where the shoulder strap attached. The dress was open below the V across the low part of the back. It had an empire waist and flowy strips of chiffon. It was the only dress she liked so she headed to the dressing room to try it on. I sat in a chair outside the dressing room waiting for her.

She emerged looking like a fairy princess. She was beaming. The dress was so pretty from the front. She wanted it so bad and I wanted it for her. But the back was just too revealing for a 14 year old and it was more expensive than I we had planned. I took an iPhone pic and sent it to her Dad to check. I was pretty sure he would say no to something with that much skin showing. It didn't look trashy but it did show a lot of skin in the back. Since that was our first stop we decided to put it on hold and go looking elsewhere.

We went to Banana Republic, J Crew, BeBe, BCBG, and Macy's with no luck. She tried on another 8-10 dresses. The one from BeBe was hilarious. The sales girl brought her a pair of shoes to try with it that had 4 inch heels! She looked like she was going out to work the corner. We all rolled laughing. As the hours passed and nothing came close to the first dress I could see the change in her mood. She wanted the purple dress so bad but she also knew it was a long shot. She stared rolling her eyes and getting irritated at everything I said. Our time was running out.

Finally, we headed back to Nordstrom's while Maddie and her Mom finished getting some shoes at Macy's. She tried the dress on again. It still looked exquisite but I noticed now that it needed some alterations. I still hadn't heard back from her Dad on the photo either. Alterations came and started pinning. Finally I called home to get John's okay. He went to his computer. While he was looking we had Mary Mac try on another dress (beige) that was a little more conservative. It looked beautiful too but nothing close to the purple dress. As soon as John saw the picture of the back the answer was a clear "NO". "Absolutely not."

She ran to the dressing room crying and refused to try on anything else. Finally, just to get her out of the dressing room and suggested getting both the purple and the beige dresses and taking them home for Dad to see. I would bring one or both back tomorrow if we didn't get approval in person. At this point we had been at it for almost 4 hours and I was reaching my limit. She was tired too.

As we were leaving the mall we decided to go get a bite to eat on the way home so I drove over one street. We passed White House/Black Market on the way. Maddie and her Mom suggested we take a look in there so I pulled in and parked. Mary Mac was still pretty sullen but agreed to try on a couple of dresses. One was a cute black strapless dress with a little mesh/lace trim at the bottom. It had an empire was and a flared skirt. She stepped out of the dressing room and took one look at herself in the mirror. THIS was the dress. It fit perfectly. She looked her age, yet, with a sophisticated flair. The sales girl brought an open toed shoe with a little black bow and matching black purse for the crowning touches. My girl was smiling again. And all for less than the purple dress!

I was thrilled and thankful.

Wondering how, as a mother, you keep the boundaries of appropriate attire when you see your child looking like a fairy princess while knowing the dress probably needs to be more conservative? So thankful, I could save that question for another day, another dance, another year?

Like I said - What a day!

The Help's Got Me Thinking......

I grew up in the South. Not the deep South depicted in the movie "The Help" but the South nonetheless. I was born in 1962 so I was just a baby during the era in the movie. I went to see it tonight with 2 of my children and it has me reflecting back on my childhood growing up - what I saw and didn't see or maybe didn't want to see. Are we just as guilty when we look the other way or don't stand up? I think maybe so.

Segregation wasn't as visible when I was growing up in Kentucky because of when I was born but it was still there on many levels. Or maybe it wasn't as visible because I wasn't really looking for it. Our hometown was the home of Kentucky State University but it was always spoken of as the "black college". I remember a conversation I overheard between my parents one time. We belonged to the local "all white" country club. The black President of Kentucky State had applied for membership and been denied. I remember hearing my parents talking about it but I don't remember them saying it was wrong. For well after I grew up and moved away there were still no black members of the country club despite the fact that there were many who could have afforded it.

I have to say that my grandparents were definitely racist. I recall a specific incident with my grandmother that has stuck in my mind all these years. My mother was upset about my grandmother's behavior but she would never stand up to her mother. I took dancing lessons at Miss Marcy's Dance Studio. Every year we had a big recital. I always looked forward to it. I think I was maybe 8 years old for this particular recital. Our ballet dance had each of us paired with another dancer. There was one little girl named Ashley in my class who was black. She was tall and thin and beautiful and a better dancer than me. Ashley and I were paired to dance together in the recital. I was excited. My grandmother was upset because she didn't like it at all. That year my grandmother didn't come to my dance recital. I have never forgot that. Maybe I was too young at the time but shouldn't I have said something to my grandmother? At what age does it become an obligation that you stand up for injustice?

When my father was young, in his late 20's and early 30's, he was racist in some ways too. He realized the error of his ways as he got older though. It wasn't that he didn't treat black people with respect. It was that he didn't want me dating or marrying a black man. When I was in junior high and high school he was always telling me that I wasn't allowed to date a black guy and if I did he would never speak to me again. At the time I was pretty sure he meant it. My freshman year in high school at a big basketball tournament in our town I met this really cute black boy from Washington, DC named Mike. I was flirting with him all weekend but wondering in the back of my mind what my Dad would do if he found out. I was afraid to ask him for his address so I could write him. Funny though I have never forgotten him and I've forgotten lots of other boys I met back then.

Seeing the maids in their uniforms tonight reminded me of parties I went to growing up. The Help would always be dressed in a nice crisp uniform like the actors in the movie. Often times at parties there were black men wearing white coats and white gloves while serving drinks from silver trays. It never occurred to me wonder what they were thinking - like Skeeter in the movie. And now I wonder what Dee and Birdie thought about all those parties they worked at all those years. Were the white people nice to them or did they treat them like second class citizens. I don't know because I wasn't paying attention. Sometimes I think that might even be a greater sin - not paying attention.

It really wasn't until after I graduated from college and moved to Texas that I really started understanding the racial legacy of my growing up years. There was both overt and covert racism all over the place. There was in Texas too but I actually started to notice it and be bothered by it. Dallas, Texas is still one of the most segregated cities in America. NPR did a multi-day piece on it about 10 or so years ago.

People don't talk about racism. It makes them uncomfortable. It would make me uncomfortable to talk about some of this with my black friends. Its hard to admit that you weren't paying attention when all this was going on. I think our generation has done a good job of raising mostly colorblind children but is that enough? I know my children are colorblind but there are still lots of people around who aren't.

I'm not sure how to correct the problem but I am pretty sure not talking about it won't help.

Zucchini, Zucchini and More Zucchini

Last night I decided to tackle the countertop of zucchinis that had been accumulating all week. This time of year you just can’t give them away fast enough. Well,let’s face it. You can’t really give them away at all. My neighbor,Cathy said,“Sure I take some if you put them in zucchini bread”.

With that little nudge I decided to shred my 8 zucchinis and make some bread. Of course,one of the was about a foot and a half long by itself. By the time I shredded them all I had three large bowls of zucchini. I decided I would try a few different recipes rather than sticking with the tried and true. That usually doesn’t turn out the way I am planning. I started with a zucchini carrot bread from a cook book my cousin gave me. It was a little bit different due to the carrots and the recipe also included honey –a nice touch for a bee keeper. I started this batch around 7pm and quickly figured out it wasn’t going to use up much of my raw materials. It only required 1 cup of zucchini and I had at least 20 cups! So I popped two loaves in the oven and started on Paula Dean’s recipe which takes at least 3 cups of the stuff. Then I moved on from Paula Dean’s recipe to my friend’s recipe. This is the “go to”best recipe. She prints me a copy to keep every year and every year I lose it. My recipes are a little like my garden –chaotic! I have them in stacks,books,stuffed inside other cookbooks,you name it. Every once in a while I try to organize them but it doesn’t work very well. I keeping thinking I am just going to put together a cookbook of all my favorites and then get rid of all the papers. One of these days. At least if I put the zucchini bread recipe here,I will know where to find it the next time I can’t find it. Many thanks to my friend Kelly for sharing her recipe and helping me bake a loaf or two on ocassion:

3 cups flour ,1 tsp salt,1 tsp soda,3 tsp cinnamon,1/4 tsp baking powder

3 beaten eggs,2 cups sugar,3 tsp vanilla,1 cup vegetable oil,3 cups shredded zucchini,1 cup chopped walnuts

Sift dry ingredients together. Beat eggs and add sugar,vanilla and oil. Stir in zucchini. Add dry ingredients and blend. Stir in nuts. Bake in 2 greased and floured loaf pans for 1 hour at 350 degrees. Sometimes I add chocolate chips.

I finally went to bed at 11:30 with loaves of varying sizes and about 3 dozen muffins. Its even hard to give away and extra large loaf so I try to make them smaller. But I still had one large bowl of shredded zucchini left. More for the morning.

I got up at 6 am,on a Saturday no less,and started cooking again. This time I decided to break up the monotony while baking the zucchini bread. Did I mention that I had 2 boxes of peaches delivered to my house last night from the high school fundraiser? I also promised Mary Mac I would make her something sweet for breakfast. I started out with the Chico Hot Springs Resort Carmel Rolls. These are yeast bread honey buns that are totally decadent. I made the dough and put it aside to rise while I started on a double batch of peach muffin/bread from a great recipe my neighbor Cathy gave me. While those were cooking I stared down the bowl of zucchini and tried to decide what to do. You can only give away so many loaves of the bread. I remembered a recipe I saw for curried zucchini soup. I dug around in my cookbooks and magazines until I found it. It is easy to make and tastes great.

1 T olive oil,1 medium onion –chopped,Coarse salt,2 garlic cloves –minced,2 tsp curry powder,1 1/2 lbs of zucchini –I used shredded or you can dice or slice,1 baking potato –peeled and diced,1/3 cup sliced almonds –toasted for garnish

Heat the oil in a large saucepan over medium heat. Add the onion and 1 T of salt ( use less and add later,it was a bit salty);cook,stirring occasionally,until the onion is soft,4 to 5 minutes. Add the garlic and curry powder;cook,stirring constantly,until fragrant,about 1 minute.

Add the zucchini,potato,and 4 cups of water. Bring to a boil;reduce heat and simmer until veggies are tender,about 15 minutes.

Puree the soup in batches in a blender (do not fill more than halfway) until smooth;server immediately. Garnish with almonds.

I made a trip batch of this yummy stuff. I gave two large jars away,saved one for myself and spilled about a half gallon all over the kitchen counter. Lucky for me my neighbor had come over to get a sticky bun and ran around the counter to help me clean up my disaster. By this time I was pretty much over my zucchini but I still had half of the largest one that I hadn’t shredded yet. I left it on the counter and headed out to pull weeds and water the garden –enough indoor chores. I even decided to take some honey from one of my hives –more on that another day.

As luck would have it my artistically talented Lindsay managed to come up with the grande finale for the large half a zucchini I had left on my counter. After we got home from the movie (The Help –more on that another day) she sat down at the table with me while I was typing this and started carving.

Zucchini as Art